Being a parent is a tough job. Small kids don’t always sleep when they are supposed to, and if you work full-time, juggling work and family on limited sleep soon wears thin. The good news is that these years don’t last forever, and one day, your tantrum-throwing, insomniac toddler will be heading off to college without a backward glance, leaving you in much-deserved peace.
While it is common for parents to become martyrs while their kids are young, always putting the needs of their children first, self-care is equally important. You can’t be a good parent if you are exhausted. In fact, it could even be dangerous, with driving a good example of an activity negatively impaced by sleep deprivation.
Read on for some hacks to help you survive the parent years.
Ask for Help
When things get too much and you feel like you are at breaking point, reach out and ask for help. This could be from a partner who isn’t pulling their weight, a grandparent, or a friend. Ask them to take the kid(s) for a few hours, so you can catch up on your sleep, have a bath without a toddler banging on the door, or go to the gym to work out some of your frustration.
This kind of arrangement can work really well if you have mom friends the same age. Organize play dates once a week so one of you has some ‘me time’. It’s great for the kids, who get to play together, and wonderful for the mom who can relax for a bit.
Plan a Pamper Session
Put the kids early to bed and spend a couple of hours on your healthcare routine. Run a bath, try a new facemask, colour your roots, and enjoy some self-care. You can shop online to save on your favorite products, such as a nourishing hair mask or massage oils.
If the kids won’t go to bed early, let them watch their favourite DVD while you paint your nails or lie on the couch with a face mask on. It’s an acceptable compromise. Even better, you can even find a professional massage near me and book yourself in for a session if there’s somebody available to watch the kids. It’ll all be worth it!
Book a Date Night
Relationships often suffer when kids come along. Sleep deprivation and demanding babies and toddlers make it hard for partners to connect or have time for each other. Unfortunately, a crumbling relationship isn’t great for your mental or physical health, and it’s important to prioritize each other occasionally.
Try and make time for a date night at least once a fortnight, but preferably once a week. Book a babysitter or ask grandma to come over for a couple of hours. It is good for kids to be left with a responsible adult from time to time, as it helps prevent separation anxiety.
Take it in turns to plan a date night. Focus on things that are fun, such as a nice meal out or a walk on the beach while the sun sets. Even a relaxing dog walk around the park together is better than nothing. At least you’ll have the opportunity to talk without the kids butting in or complaining it’s too cold, too hot, they need to pee, or they want ice cream. If you are going to be without the kids for a night, make sure you make the most of it, whether that’s by going to bed early, eating when you want to, enjoying some peace and quiet, or using something like these True Pheromones to spice up the night a little, whatever is going to feel like a proper treat for you as a couple.
If you want an active way to reconnect, consider an experience that encourages teamwork and conversation rather than passive entertainment. Two-player escape rooms give couples a private, 60-minute structure where both people have to communicate, split tasks and solve puzzles together—great for reigniting playful cooperation. For couples looking for that kind of focused, intimate outing, Quest Room’s escape rooms are perfect for 2 people, offering rooms designed to foster communication and shared achievement without the distractions of a crowded venue. They can turn a simple date night into a memorable shared challenge that’s fun to reflect on afterwards.
Arrange a Lie-In
Take it in turns with your partner to deal with the morning routine while the other person has a lie-in. An extra hour of sleep will do you the world of good when you’ve been up several times in the night. If this isn’t an option, make a point of napping with the kids nap; the chores can wait.
Try not to let your self-care regimes slip too far when you become a parent. And if you need help, ask – it’s not a sign of weakness to admit you are finding it hard!
