Recently, I have an over-the-coffee catch up with my friends who are parents themselves. The most engaging topic during our meetup is about our children. We exchange ideas about nutrition, education and our children’s future.
We came to an interesting topic about parenting self-reflection. Many times, we will tell our children about the do and don’t. In actual fact, we could be overly protective of our children, which might lead them to be less independent.
What if those good parenting habits we deal with our children might actually be bad parenting?
Keeping Your Child Away From Getting Dirty
It is true that if your child does not come in contact with germs or potential allergens, they likely have low immunity in their body. Reduce the obsession of hand sanitiser and overly washing of hands. Let your child play and get dirty!
You Are The Smartest Kid Ever
Most parents have the habit of encouraging their child that he/she is the smartest kid ever. This positive parenting habit will fix the child’s mindset that they are smart and they are always correct. Instead of fixing this mindset, grow the mindset instead. This is important for critical learning in the later part of their life.
Lying To Your Child When Explaining Difficult Things
Lying during certain circumstances such as someone committing suicide may be a good idea. As children are curious about everything around them, it is important that we should respond to their questions factually.
Sounds common right? Instead of building responsibility in older sibling, this “good” parenting approach might lead to “why is it always me” effect. Younger siblings might also have difficulty in accepting the older sibling as an authority family member, which can lead to a poor relationship between the siblings.
Don’t Let Your Kids Fail
The worst thing parents can do is to prevent our child from failing. Parents are setting their children up for disappointment in the later part of their life. It is important to let your child fail, fall on their back, pick themselves up, rub the dirt off and move on.
Strict Routine In Life
Having strict routines like bedtime is very important during the early stages of a child’s life. Unfortunately, when you are stuck in a situation where your child are used to the routine, this might not be a good news at all. Instead, as they grew older, make them adaptable in life.
Distracting Your Child With Treats
When a child is throwing a tantrum, most parents will distract their child by giving them candy treats to make them happy. Most of the time it works like magic! The downside is parents are setting them up for unhealthy eating habits later in life. Try substitute with healthier treats instead.
Invading Your Child’s Privacy Because It’s For Their Own Good
How would you react if your parents were to go through your diary, social channels or drawers? Children who grow up in such an environment will tend to mistrust other people. It is important for parents to teach their children about good communication and trust. Give your child a personal space and trust is not a one-way traffic.
Reward Your Child With Treats
This may sound like a good and easy reward system when your child excels well in school or finished their chores properly. Mums and Dads, try to minimise doing this as your child will feel that rewarding comes really easy for every small thing that they have done in their life.
Let Your Child Beat You At Games
Avoid a 100% handicap game with your child. Instead, randomise the game to a 50% win or lose. The reason is to let your child learn to deal with loss, manage their own behaviour and emotions based on what is happening to them.